Hi everyone, I’m Daisy.
A reader left me a big message the other day that went something like this.
Daisy, I have a friend who is very close to me in person but talks badly about me behind my back. But I can’t let her go, what should I do?
I’m sure many readers have been in a similar situation. At first you give your heart and soul to someone, but in the end you get your heart ripped out.
You and your partner, because of a momentary outburst, become the most familiar of strangers.
The more you grow up, the more you realize that the more you expect from someone, the more you will be disappointed.
In the world of relationships, if you want to be a fish out of water, the best thing to do is, as the saying goes.
If you want to avoid the end of everything, refuse the beginning of everything. Lower your expectations of anyone and the surprises will come one after another.
The article I am sharing today is a reminder to everyone.
Don’t overestimate your relationship with anyone, intimacy without a sense of boundaries is ultimately a disaster.
1. Don’t overestimate your relationship with anyone
I have heard a saying that is both true and cruel.
At 20, we are concerned about what others think of us
At 40, we ignore what people think of us.
At 60, we realise that others don’t think about us at all.
One of the signs of maturity is to understand that 99% of what happens to you every day means nothing to anyone else.
The famous performing artist, Ying Ruo Cheng, grew up in a large family and whenever he ate, dozens of people sat in a large dining room.
Once on a whim, he decided to play a joke on everyone by hiding himself in a cupboard in the dining room, imagining the tension and panic when everyone couldn’t find him.
However, no matter how close his friends and family were, they all left after a good meal and no one even noticed his absence.
Hungry and bereft, he walked out of the cupboard like a battered eggplant and ate the leftovers.
Ever since then, Ying Ruocheng has told himself.
Never overestimate your relationship with anyone, or you will be greatly disappointed.
Russell once said.
No one should be expected to change another person’s life for the sake of another person’s life.
Each person, after all, is an individual.
In any relationship, in any position, do not take yourself too seriously.
There is no one who is inseparable from anyone in this world. Sometimes, one turn and you’re a stranger.
Instead of obsessing about your relationship with anyone, learn to live your own life.
2. Don’t take everything for granted
When I watched an interview with Ang Lee some time ago, Lu Yu asked Ang Lee: What is your greatest happiness at this stage?
Li An replied: I feel happy when my wife can smile at me, so I can relax a little.
Lu Yu thought his wife was very strict, and Li An was busy explaining.
My wife is a very lovely woman, but just because I am a father and a gentleman to others, it does not mean that I can earn their respect quite naturally.
You still have to earn their respect every day, and that is why I have not been slack.
There are too many people in real life who always put too much value on the marriage relationship, the parent-child relationship, the lover relationship, and unconsciously use this, as a bargaining chip to be reckless with.
If you are in a relationship, your lover is supposed to love you as a matter of course.
Being a husband, a wife should take it for granted that she will take care of herself.
If you are a father, your children should respect you as a matter of course.
But there is nothing in this world that we can take for granted.
So it is important to keep a ‘humble heart’ in any relationship and not take anything for granted.
When we lower our expectations of every relationship, we can be surprised by the joy we get.
I thought he wouldn’t help me, but I was so happy that he did.
He is not obliged to tolerate my nonsense, yet he comes to my rescue every time, so happy.
He doesn’t really have to be so nice to me, but he is willing to take care of me, and I have to be nice to him too.
The world is originally unfair, so don’t expect every give and take to be rewarded accordingly.
Put your mind at ease and lower your expectations, and you will find that our lives, and relationships between people, will become more peaceful, and there will be a lot less hurt and sadness.
3. Put yourself down and look up to the stars
Franklin, known as the father of the American people, once visited a senior citizen when he was young.
As a young man, he took a big step with his chest up and bumped into the door frame as he entered.
When the senior who greeted him saw this, he said with a smile.
It hurts, doesn’t it? Yet, this will be the greatest reward of your visit today.
One must always remember to keep one’s head down if one is to live in the world in peace.
Everyone has something to be proud of to a greater or lesser extent, but we must not let this lead us to exalt ourselves indefinitely and thus fall into a state of blind arrogance.
After Mo Yan won the Nobel Prize for Literature, there were all kinds of comments.
But in the face of all the flashing lights, he always looked humble.
At first, I thought the object of controversy was me, but gradually I felt that the object of controversy was someone who had nothing to do with me.
I was like a theatregoer, watching the performance of the crowd, and I saw that the winner was covered with flowers and stoned and pelted with sewage, and I was afraid that he would be broken.
But he smiled as he emerged from the flowers and stones, wiped the dirty water from his body and stood blithely to one side.
As they say, a mountain is higher than a hill.
Only by setting aside that lofty heart and learning to look down on yourself will you always be able to introspect and progress.
As a human being, don’t take yourself too seriously.
When you let go of yourself, you will see an endless sky of stars.
4. The end
Life is like a moving train, with people getting on and off.
The person you thought could accompany you through the whole world, but unexpectedly got off the train in the middle, leaving you alone in the same place without looking back, and you drifted apart.
In this world, no one will always be there for you, but there will always be someone who will be there for you.
So don’t close yourself off to love for fear of being hurt. Because.
Some people are destined to be a cancer in your life, others are just a sneeze.
If you keep a good grip on your external kindness, protect your precious sincerity, and lower your expectations of others a little, you won’t be so tired of living.
I hope we can all be ourselves easily, so that we can have a clean and comfortable circle.